C'est joli. C'est vrai.

Being away from it all makes everything so much more beautiful.
So much scarier.

But from where I am, and where I've been sent, and where I'm kept, I can see it all.
I can see what means the most to me.

I can see what's beautiful. I can see what needs appreciation.

So here I am trying to express it all.

I miss old friends, I realise how I have let you become old friends.
I miss new friends, and how I let go of the excitement.
I miss my friends. The ones who are there to pick me up.
I realise who you are.
And I realise who I need, who I miss.

Having something taken away from you, even when you think its small and insignificant, makes you realise how LUCKY you are to have it.
And how you should strive to make the most of it.

But when you strive you burn, And finding that medium is the hardest thing.
I tried and I failed.

But I'm not afraid to fall, it means I've climbed up high enough to fall.
I'll climb back again, and this time, I want to do it right.

I miss excitement, and spontaneity.
I miss the chills and the thrills of life.
I miss going out and just not thinking of what I have to do, what I need to do, and just laughing.

I miss ART. True art, true beauty.
I miss trying, and having that drive to find it.
I'm sad that the most beautiful moments are in the past, and I can't see them happening again.

I miss being different, I miss making people smile.
I miss how I used to be, and how I want to be.
I miss wanting to be something.

I resent that I feel so under pressure to succeed that I put myself in danger.
I resent what I've done to myself, I am sad how spoilt I have become.

I wish I could do all the things I try so hard to do.
I wish they weren't so out of reach.

I can't wait to find myself.
I can't wait to grow old with the people that matter.

I'm scared of the future but I anticipate it so much.

I want to do well.
I want to make my life easier for myself.
I want to have fun.
I want to work hard.
I want to be happy.

When I come back from this, and climb back up to the top.

I want to be better, different.
Improved.

I want to be me.