19th December 2008: 8:07pm - Twilight

Preface
Its times like these that make me want to be in love.
That make me realise; I was never in love with you.
That make me realise love isn't that easy to come by and that it doesn't just fall into your lap each time you meet someone new.
It's made me understand the logic behind the saying "you'll know when you find the one".
It's made me understand who the one is, and what they are going to stand for. When I find them.
I haven't got the one; I didn't have it in the past, I don't have it in the present, and I can see it in my future for a while.
But I want it. I want to be in love.


I want those glittering moments; that glow like fireflies on a misty evening at dusk.
When everything is glowing russet red and amber, yet its the small details that are illuminated to sharpness by your sparkle. Details like the crinkles around your eyes, and the soft downy hair on your skin, brought to crisp life by your presence.

I want that warmth, that spicy sensation in the core of a person that contracts and rotates and makes your eyes burn and fizz with tears, swelling over, obscuring the beautiful vision.

I want the humming in the ears, blocking out every sound except the soft frequencies of your voice, the buzz or sheer bliss. It's audible if you think of it.

The sensation of floating, the floor falling away, and being left suspended in the dark with only you. Situated in the glycerine space, where time stops.
Your lips on my forehead.


Afterword
I can taste the beauty.
Sometimes I can't stop these waves of emotion, and recognition.
They show me what it could be like, what I could have.
They give me a quick sense of what it would feel like, and also torture me at the same time.
I didn't feel this back then, I don't feel it now.
All I can say, is that with every part of my being;
I hope its my future.
I'm praying its in there somewhere...
Somehow.

No comments: