If you could go back would you change anything?
Would you still change it if it meant we would never meet?

Do you see me as something better that came along,
or something that just took the pain away for a little while?

I fear that when you think of me you associate me with what could have been, not what is or what might be.

There are so many things about you that make me painfully happy.
I wonder if there are things that I do that make you feel this way…

For a start, your eyes. How they shine when you look at me, how they are so dark yet so bright at the same time.
Your eyelashes, I think they are my favourite thing. How can someone’s eyelashes be the most beautiful thing I see on a daily basis?
Your skin. Your hands, and how you play with my fingertips when we sit together.
Your smile. It changes your whole face, transforms you into something that can build and break my heart all at once every time I see it.
Your hair. How you smell when you rest your head on my shoulder.
The way you call me baby girl, or Bubsy Malone, or the apple of your eye.
Things that are just ours.
It makes me happy watching your skinny legs rush around in the morning when you get ready for work.
When you sing to yourself, when you disappear off into your imaginary land for a while.
The way you open up to me after a drink or 5, and tell me things that make me feel as if I am floating.
The way you kiss me.
The way just being close to you calms me, and makes me feel at home.
You are my home, wherever we might be, if you are there it’s home.

I guess what I am asking is if this is real.
I want to know if we are on the same page, or reading different books.

I wish I knew without asking.
An answer is never as honest, nor reassuring, as an unprovoked revelation.