I have so much I want to write.
I want to write that I haven't felt this crappy in a long time.
I want to write that I know I shouldn't and that I should be thankful for so much.
I want to write how I am a total fool.
I want to write how I am a fool because I make things so blindingly obvious.
I want to write about how it stings.
I want to write I hate that I am jealous.
I want to write that I won't let history repeat itself.
I will write that it's hard for me to understand because it's strange to me.
And I know that that in itself proves hard for you to understand.
I will write that I'm sorry.
I want to write that talking will/should help; but it won't and its effects are merely temporary.
I want to write how I feel inadequate, not enough and forgotten.

I want to write that I know I'm silly.
I want to write that I've never had it easy when it comes to this and I can't help but make comparisons.
I want to write that I always end up doing this to myself, and I blame myself.
I want to keep writing and writing but I have nothing to say, I have everything to say.