you are nothing but a smile and nervous laughter spend the evenings in your dark blue cotton sheets and i spent years it seems just wondering through the darkness then the answer came on that late summer breeze and the headlights on the highway could not help me understand whatever it is you need i pray i am with my finger tips i trace on your bare skin all of the things id like to say but can not speak you mean everything and there's not quite words enough to tell you all the things you've become for me

Fireflies Flash

1)

Open the flood gates,
Let the rain pour.
And stand out with my toes in the earth,
Letting it roar.
Feeling no power,
But who says that's bad?
This could be the best I've ever had.
How will I know if I don't open these gates.
So I undo the latch, and fling them out wide.
Wet warmth washes over me, I smile with a sigh.


2)

Fireflies flash, with no power to last.
Hurt stays for longer than the smiles.
Sometimes to save them, you hurt them at the start.
But its not you hurting them, It's saving them from what could hurt.
You care too much to even give it a chance.
Is that possible?
Fireflies flash, and I never want to see you sad.

Tonight, Amongst Friends,

I will pretend that I am on a beach in the Orange County.
And I will pretend that its warm sand under my feet, rather than the cold ground.
At least I will have my friends, a crate of beer, and a bonfire.
I'm secretly looking forward to pretending to myself.
And wearing lots of woollen clothing.

Do you remember?

Do you remember when you first learned to read?
Do you remember when things began to come clearly, rather than stuttered and slow?
I don't.

Thinking about you makes me happy.
Am I running away with myself already?
Probably. I just hope this isn't devoid of a happy ending.
This one could be something I'd not want to let go of..

I haven't woken up next to someone in so long.
It was strange, but nice.
That was the one thing I missed the most out of everything.

I'm happy.

Ultimately.

Ultimately.
I love that word.

In the end of all this, everything will be fine.
Mine, yours, his, hers and everyone's emotions are up and down, and in and out.
But in the end, it will all work out, and we will die happy.

I think everyone who lives their life out until the natural end will die happy.
And I think you will too.
I think you worry too much, you think each year is a milestone, but I know you'll be here 'til the end, And you know it too.

I really fancy going to the sea.
Or, somewhere. Anywhere. Take me away?
I want to be with friends. And I want to know what to choose; but if I know that I guess I could say "Where's the fun?"

Whats the rush? We've all the time in the world.

Keeping our life lines close, And aiming for top score.
We all play life like it's a game.
But whats the point?
Nobody gets out alive anyway.


GO DO SOMETHING FUN.
RIGHT NOW.
Go out, and do something you'd not usually do.
Stop playing the game and feel alive for the first time.

Met once before, Now you're a Metaphor.

Knowing you is like skating on shiny ice, I can reflect in you.
You take me to such speeds, And it's so easy to keep going and going.
All the while I'm sliding though, Faster and Faster.
Sometimes out of control.
When I fall you help me up.
Sometimes the ice breaks, and I fall through into this other world.
I feel the icy rush of being without you.
As soon as I’m in, the ice freezes back over.
I'm trapped.
But later you break the ice again, or perhaps I do.
And I set off skating again...

Confusing, Ambiguous, A Surprise.
Contradictory, Irrational, An anomaly.


_____


My dreams are coming back.
I’ve dreamed more in the last 2 nights than I have in months.
I miss dreaming.
They remind myself of parts of me that I’m cut off from now.
It’s strange.
As confusing as you are, And as unhelpful as you can be, You’re the only one I want to talk to about this.