Tonight I feel hollow, glass-like.

Fragile and delicate and just waiting to be broken.

I am finding so much hard to understand right now.

I am angry at the world for taking away people that should have lived on.

I am angry that life is only that, life. No matter how great you make it, it still ends.

I guess this makes me feel as if there is no point?

Why try and be something you are not? Why not just be you and love every minute.

Or should I strive to change, to be better? Is it worth it?

What would you tell me to do?

I don’t understand how one minute you were here full of such energy,

And the next you were broken.

I pray to god you weren’t scared.

I hope you didn’t know what was coming.

I hope you didn’t feel pain and I hope you had no regrets.

Right now words are nothing to me but shapes.

I cannot be comforted.

It's strange, feeling you've lost something you never had.
Everything seems so mundane and mediocre, even though it's nothing worse than you had before.

Sometimes silence is worse than any answer that you might not want to hear...

Tonight is the first night I haven’t waited up for you.
If you felt the same, I would have heard by now.

I feel on the edge of something big.
The unknown ended too abruptly.
There is no label or definition for what we were.
I feel like I need to know what you are feeling.
Am I the last thing on your mind right now?
When you have been my first for weeks.
Will that change, maybe.
Do I want it to? No.
I wish it could be easy.
I wish that time would make it more effortless, the way I know it could be.
But it won’t ever be easy for us and I can’t see a time when it will work.

All I know is that I could love you and feel safe.
And coming from me this means the world.

I need you to tell me that it wasn't all in my head.
I would have done anything just to see you smile.
I thought you were the one person who would never hurt me.
Or am I just hurting myself?

11.11

you will be my wish until it comes true.

I want to watch films in bed with you,
And hold hands whilst we sleep.
Walking down the pavement,
Knowing that you're mine undoubtedly.

I want to stand on my tip toes,
For each kiss goodnight.

In every moment that hangs in time,
And with every breath I inhale,
I feel the distance.
The air remains in my lungs,
It sits.
Resting.
The constant weight of a reminder.
You're not here.

A feeling; I should have never let you go with these things left unsaid.
We are the tip of an iceberg.
We are potential, and possibility, but on a tight rope.
I'm trying to hold onto this before it fades.

I'm thinking forward to that day when I can breathe out.
Wishing it was tomorrow.
Hoping that it still feels the same.