So what do you do, when one half of you is completely and utterly idyllically happy, and the other wants to run for the hills?
I want to hide and shine at the same time and I want things to be able to happen when I want them to, I don't want to wait.

What do you do when you cant let go?
And when something makes you feel sick to your stomach every time you see it, or them, or her, by some obscene power it has a hold over you, an unbreakable heavy hold?

What do you do when you want to work for something, so much, but you're too lazy?
Or, you try so hard, but you always cave in?
How is that dedication.
How is that WANTING something.

What do you do when you're stuck inside a person, a shell, that on the outside makes you want to cry, but whatever's on the inside is happy enough to not do anything.

I think with you, I can he happy and perfect, but when you're gone I'm left with the outside shell.
It's not a question of 'How can I do this without you?'


But, 'How can I do this with you?'

Should I say?

That you still make me cry.
And I ...

I think I shouldn't say.